Day 3: Paris

Okay. Things I have learned so far this trip:

  • French keyboards have their letters and punctuation in different spots. This post is going to take a fucking long time.
  • I have exceptional good luck at sitting next to friendly, attractive men on planes (when I don’t have the window seat, anyway).
  • A valium tablet and a glass of wine make flying bearable.
  • So does having the window seat.
  • It is impossible to escape tourists, and touristy shit, in Paris.
  • The French build really fucking nice churches.
  • Hobart is ridiculously full of white people. I’ve seen so many hipster people of colour in this city it makes me wonder what the hell we are doing wrong.
  • You will get hit on everywhere you go; regardless of how you look. People will approach you on the street for no reason, and strangers will declare their love for you. Possibly in three languages.
  • The building of the Louvre is possibly more interesting than 90% of the exhibits inside. Also the Mona Lisa is as small and underwhelming as everyone says, the Venus De Milo looks the same as all the other marble statues, and the entire museum is painfully Euro-centric.
  • You will get creeped on by an old guy on the Metro, and have to make the difficult decision as to whether to tolerate getting felt up by someone’s elbow, or stand in what is basically a sweaty sardine tin.
  • When your airline tells you that the bags that were meant to come with you from London to Paris didn’t quite make the transfer in time, but they’ll deliver them to your hotel by the end of the day, they may not be telling the truth.
  • It doesn’t matter how many times you shower, wearing the same clothes you’ve been in for the past three days solid will still feel nauseatingly disgusting.
  • Everyone in Paris is unfairly attractive, and the ones who aren’t make up for it by being super-stylish.
  • I should have studied a language in high school/college/uni.
  • You will see a woman being chased around a Metro station by a guy clearly trying to beat her up, and no one will really do anything about it. You might then cry yourself to sleep because of how awful human beings are.
  • It’s totally okay to depict penises in marble (a.k.a. on statues) but it’s apparently not okay to paint them. Also, breasts are fine to paint, but they often would only paint it so one breast was uncovered and the other was clothed (any ideas?). Oh, and apparently pubic hair didn’t exist between 1400-1800 either.
  • Cows, Jesus, and babies were all popular subjects for classical European artwork.
  • My feet are so battered from all this walking that they literally bled on a number of occasions today.
  • I really need to travel – or at least sightsee – on my own. Fuck what other people want.
  • Leaving the country is a great way to deal with one’s problems.
Next Post
Leave a comment

1 Comment

  1. This was awesomely hilarious 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

  • Things about me:

    My name is Mel, I'm a final year law student from Australia. I'm interested in politics, feminism, sociology and science, among other things. You can find my Twitter account below; I am more active there than here.

    Feel free to share my posts anywhere you like, provided appropriate attribution and link-backs are given. Respectful comments always welcome. I like discussion.

  • Archives

  • Categories

  • When I tweet…

    Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: